Review of 2009

Tramps' Series Of Poker (TSOP) was the best thing about 2009 for me, the premier World Poker Tour Of London's Parks (WPTOLP).

Everything else about 2009 was shit, except a cracking holiday that is. Future historians will use last year as the yardstick to judge how rubbish subsequent years are. "Yes, 2037 was bad but 2009 was waaaaaaaaaay shitter". Yous knows it.

Ask Jenny...

...to go away.

This is Jenny, the freakishly faced, erm, face of Virgin Media's automated customer disservice system.

I wish she was my girlfriend but she's not real > sigh <.

Nazi Furniture Warehouse, with branches at Sidcup, New Malden, Croydon...

On a recent visit to Harley Street, it appears that the building manager - or their interior designer - has a flair for Nazi chattel.

In the corner of the street-side waiting is a cabinet bearing what appears to be a chateaux lock motif with a swastika detail.

There's also a round, golden mirror with a spread eagle detail...

On quizzing a consultant's secretary, I was informed that she doesn't ever go in the waiting room as someone had died in there recently... Cursed Nazi furniture - wooooooo!!

Hopefully more answers'll be forthcoming on my next visit.

Edit: ...and here they are....

Honey Badger Chat

Honey Badger, I Shrunk The Kids!

Rick Moranis is reprise his much-loved 'bumbling dad' role in forthcoming summer blockbuster Honey Badger, I Shrunk The Kids!

Penned for an August 18th release in the US, Mr. Moranis is reported to be as excited as he is ugly and rightly so.

Guy Ritchie to direct semi-autobiographical Cockney honey badger movie

Guy Ritchie has been in talks with Columbia Pictures to direct a big budget screen adaptation of self-penned script Cockney Honey Badgers.

The screenplay is rumoured to borrow heavily from Ritchie's gritty childhood experiences, when he was raised by honey badgers on the mean streets of London's east end.

Chas and Dave are to soundtrack the film with all-new material and are thought to be voicing Ritchie's honey badger parents.

It's all gone wrong

Words won't do.